Friday, 12 August 2022

Exercise

 






You told us

and we listened.


You told us

and we listened.


You told us

and we listened,


so why must you insist 

on being so indignant?


We paid the people who we got

to make the survey a lot,

and were assured it would give us

the answers we want


and you filled it all out for us,

ticked the boxes that we gave you

(none of which related

to the pittance that we pay you);


you rated certain statements

on a scale of one to five

(you were not asked how you rated

I am thinking of ending my life):


you have been consulted. 

We asked what you preferred

among the options that we gave you

and not all of you demurred:


the comfy and compliant and the hungry to advance,

we knew, would always give the answers we were keen to splash

on PowerPoints and glossy booklets given out each quarter

whose purpose 

is to inform you


that you told us

and we listened,

so now you better shut it 

and make do with what you’re given.


Hello! Isn't corporate-speak annoying? Especially when it comes in that faux-matey tone pioneered by Brewdog and Innocent Drinks where you try to pretend you're friends with the person buying your product instead of just blatantly asking them for money! Anyway this italicised bit of my posts is where I blatantly ask you for money. If you can pay me regularly, my Patrons get access to exclusive writing I don't post anywhere else online, including my regular AEW Dynamite and Rampage reviews! But I know (because I listen, you see) that making a regular commitment in these times of energy bills you need a wheelbarrow to pay is asking a lot so, if you'd prefer, I also have a ko-fi page where you can leave a tip if you particularly like something I've written. Like the poem above, for example! And if you can't afford to do either of these things and just enjoy reading my poems and posts that's cool too! I am just trying to be more professional at this monetising thing even though I hate it. Can you tell?


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