You can blame Kate Fox for this one

It isn't going on the Blankmedia profile because it's just a silly little piece. But I feel like getting it out there, so here it is. I was reading Kate Fox's Facebook page, and she was writing about a chinese meal she'd had where a woman sang really kitschy songs throughout - someone else said that at their branch of (popular UK home improvement chain) B&Q, they always play Roxy Music's 'Slave to Love' on a Friday night. Which of course set odd-brained Adam's odd brain off, and led to...

Bryan Ferry at the B&Q

to the tune of 'Slave to Love'

I see you gliding
across the floor
with some flat-pack bookshelves
and a circular saw.
Your orange trolley
is filled so tight,
but you’ve got no brolly
and it’s a rainy night.

I move closer to you
through the widest aisle:
store assistant watches
with geriatric smile.
We admire the woodwork,
all tongue-and-groove;
I adjust my silk tie
it’s time to make my move.

I draw up beside you
and I take my chance:
for the merest instant
our trollies dance,
but too soon I realise
you’re no good for me:
‘cause here comes your girlfriend
and she called security.

But I hold no grudges,
I’m no jealous guy:
if I get no action,
there’s always DIY...

Sometimes the simplest ideas are funniest...

George and Lynne is one of the most unfunny cartoon strips in the history of British newspapers, rivalled only for the crown of most unfunny by the woeful Fred Basset, a tremendously boring strip about a dog with some kind of canine learning difficulty.

However, while George and Lynne itself may be unfunny, analysing it with the utmost seriousness turns out to be comedy gold.