Thursday, 11 March 2010

You can blame Kate Fox for this one

It isn't going on the Blankmedia profile because it's just a silly little piece. But I feel like getting it out there, so here it is. I was reading Kate Fox's Facebook page, and she was writing about a chinese meal she'd had where a woman sang really kitschy songs throughout - someone else said that at their branch of (popular UK home improvement chain) B&Q, they always play Roxy Music's 'Slave to Love' on a Friday night. Which of course set odd-brained Adam's odd brain off, and led to...

Bryan Ferry at the B&Q

to the tune of 'Slave to Love'

I see you gliding
across the floor
with some flat-pack bookshelves
and a circular saw.
Your orange trolley
is filled so tight,
but you’ve got no brolly
and it’s a rainy night.

I move closer to you
through the widest aisle:
store assistant watches
with geriatric smile.
We admire the woodwork,
all tongue-and-groove;
I adjust my silk tie
it’s time to make my move.

I draw up beside you
and I take my chance:
for the merest instant
our trollies dance,
but too soon I realise
you’re no good for me:
‘cause here comes your girlfriend
and she called security.

But I hold no grudges,
I’m no jealous guy:
if I get no action,
there’s always DIY...

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