The Black Spider at Bay: A Claustrophobic Castle

'English go home': resentment of the Windsors may be a factor in the recent attack on Grouville Marsh Resettlement Camp

Someone in St Helier, you suspect, is kicking themselves right now - that's if they haven't already been locked up in La Moye under prerogative powers or, as the less respectful locals have termed the return of direct 'Royal' rule to the island of Jersey since the Windsors' exile there, 'Charlie's peepee'. The self-styled 'King Across the Water' is said to be fuming at reports that the secret, paper and courier-based communications network used by the Windsors to keep in touch with sympathetic Fifth Columnists in the Albian Republics has been penetrated, leading to the release of a new tranche of Black Spider Memos - and what a tranche it is! 

Whereas the previous BSMs, released in the wake of the Liberation of London, were written by Windsor from a position of relative power, the newly released documents show a much diminished man, pleading with supporters for assistance and, especially, bemoaning the accommodations at Elizabeth Castle, the 16th Century fortification which has, since the Windsors' Great Retreat, served as the residence of not just Charles, his self-styled Queen Camilla, and his sons Feyd Rautha and the Beast Rabban - sorry, William and Harry - but also the entire Windsor clan, many of whom, it is now clear, are chafing from such close proximity to relatives they cannot stand. While Charles' mother, Elizabeth Windsor, may have kept the peace to some extent following the original Retreat, her death in 1995 has left Charles in the position of mediator between his fractious relatives - something which, it's plain to see, he does not excel at. 

As bad as refereeing the ongoing sniping between his brothers Edward and Andrew may be, however, it's clear from many of the memos that Charles' biggest concern is not his family, but the people of his adopted island. Some on Jersey despise the Windsors because they are seen as figureheads for the hated English immigrant community, while others are angered by revelations from the UAR about the Windsors' criminal activities - but whatever its motivation, public resentment of the Windsors' presence has grown so great that Charles has become increasingly paranoid about it, largely refusing to emerge from the interior of his new abode, and constantly enquiring as to means of fortifying the causeway which is the only connection between the castle and St Helier proper. His recent decision to ban the island's traditional pilgrimage to the Hermitage of St Helier, which passes through the castle, has been a major flashpoint, and may well have been a factor in the recent attack on Grouville Marsh, the former Organisation Todt forced labour camp which has been repurposed as a 'resettlement facility' for English-identifying refugees from Albia. 

And on and on the spider spins...but between his fractious family and their increasingly untenable position on an even smaller island, it's an open question as to how long he can continue.