Wrestling Emily Dickinson
The life & opinions of AJ McKenna.
Monday, 18 November 2024
The Price of Membership: On Tyson/Paul
Tuesday, 12 November 2024
From the Files of the Republic Intelligencers: Artefact Cluster KO1 - 'Kirkoswald Spheres'
An example of an artefact belonging to the Kirkoswald Cluster, showing the peculiar logo and 'Coat of Arms' |
Description: KO1 cluster artefacts are small white spheres resembling golf balls, decorated with the logo of a non-existent golf course (or resort?) known as 'Trump Turnberry'. This logo consists of the course/resort name stamped in a copperplate font, underneath a somewhat exaggerated illustration of a 'Coat of Arms' of the sort maintained by the former College of Arms under the Windsor Regime, albeit with a number of errors suggesting it was designed by someone unfamiliar with the conventions of genuine Old Regime heraldry. Most of them have been recovered from bodies of water in or around the village of Turnberry and the aforementioned TideFate Oceanic Research Complex by individuals diving, fishing or swimming, though on one occasion one such object was observed travelling through the air in a manner consistent with having been struck by a golf club. At present, six such artefacts have been recovered so far, though it is theorised that there may be more. It is not currently known whether or not POI WESTPHALEN is aware of their existence, though given the regularity with which he attended the Research Complex in the years prior to the creation of the TideFate California Power Facility, there is a high likelihood that he may have come into contact with KO1 instances.
Disinformation Strategy: In line with instruction from Intelligencer SERAPH, Assets in Republic Media have been advised to promulgate the explanation that the KO1 artefacts are the work of a guerrilla art collective whose goal is as yet unknown, but who are assumed to be weaponising POI WESTPHALEN's memories of his late father, whose enthusiasm for the game of golf he does not share. A number of more outlandish explanations have been seeded in online fora by Assets of low credibility, with the goal of making the 'art collective' explanation seem more plausible by comparison.
Current Hypothesis: It is the opinion of Intelligencer SERAPH that the appearance of the artefacts has some connection to the research carried out at the Tidefate Complex and due to be implemented presently at the California Power Facility. They may form part of a disinformation strategy pursued by POI WESTPHALEN to distract from his actual research, or they may be a genuine byproduct of the complex's activity. Given the implications of the latter possibility, Intelligencer SERAPH is inclined to believe the former more likely.
Further Investigation: Intelligencer SERAPH has been cleared to travel to the USA, officially as part of a Cultural Exchange tour organised in collaboration with Asset BUCKAROO. While there, she will liaise with Asset CATSPAW, who has been monitoring POI WESTPHALEN, to investigate and, if need be, neutralise the Tidefate California Power Facility. While Intelligencer SERAPH is abroad, her work monitoring the TideFate Research Complex will be the responsibility of Intelligencer CLEVERBOY.
Date of Most Recent Update: 31/10/2012CE
Thursday, 24 October 2024
Albian Dreams Omnibus Megapost
I learn, from today's episode of the excellent Podcasting is Praxis podcast that Daily Mail columnist and massive creep Quentin Letts has tried his hand at a counterfactual history of the United Kingdom. Unsurprisingly, his attempt is terrible racist, misogynist guff, but the Praxiscast crew's skewering of it is hilarious. It reminded me, however, of my own ongoing dabbles in counterfactuality with the history of the Union of Albian Republics, which, biased as I undoubtedly am, I think are much better than Letts' execrable wanking, not least because, lacking Quentin's quaint servility I had the guts to murder Charles Windsor in a chip pan fire, and I regret nothing.
So I thought, y'know what? This blog needs a post which aggregates together every instalment of that story (so far) for ease of access and sharing. This is that post.
Behold!
Albian Dreams Book One: The Savile Wars
Prologue : Albia Eruditorum - in a pastiche of Elizabeth Sandifer's Doctor Who essays, the status quo ante for the Savile Wars is established on the way to a consideration of Jeremy Brett's bravura turn as everyone's favourite Timelord
Riot Cops in Roundhay Park: remembering the Savile Wars - in the first instalment of her remarkable memoir, my parallel universe counterpart Angel McKenna describes the fallout from Geoffrey Howe's decision to read the details of what Margaret Thatcher knew about Jimmy Savile's crimes into the Parliamentary record in the early 1990s.
An Albian Poem - an example of my counterpart's verse. At this point I was assuming the final form of this project would be a selection of these counterfactual poems, with the alternate history on here as mere background colour, but the opposite largely proved true.
Meanwhile, in Moscow - Agent Billings goes for a McDonalds with a snooty colleague.
The Prisoner: the long and crucial final act of David Bowie - Angel McKenna's obituary for the late Mr B outlines a little of the Albian Artists' Prison system.
In Albia - an early example of Angel's poetry, from when she was an optimistic ideologue instead of a hardbitten Republic Intelligencer.
Car Crashes and the Smell of Burning Hair - in another instalment of Angel's memoir, we learn about the love affair between Prince Dai and the future First Citizen Mercury, and the Windsors' attempt to do something about it.
Pucker Up and Think of England - amid the fallout from the Windsor Crime Family's only half-successful attempt to murder Dai and Freddie, Agent Billings finds himself tasked with assisting a mysterious asset of British Intelligence known only as 'JR' (she prefers Jo) in a bizarre, Q-branch style attempt at killing the First Citizen and strangling the Albian Revolution in its crib.
Death is One of the Main Characters - Jo meets Angel at Forbidden Planet and muses on the popularity of stories of boy wizards, before revealing her proclivities in a dramatic graveyard encounter.
The Pleasure of Shaking a Tail - Albian Review of Books critic Bill Hagchester reviews the memoirs of a number of figures involved, in one way or another, in the Lipstick Plot, filling us in on some details of Angel's postwar work as an Intelligencer and her relationship with US Cultural Attache Charles T. Billings.
Albia, September 2001 - an older, more cynical angel busts a Windsor loyalist black magic ring in the week following 9/11, while US President Gore and his Soviet counterpart Zyuganov meet to discuss what must be done.
Angel's Lament - my counterpart bemoans the loneliness of life as an Intelligencer in another of her poems.
Ghostwatch - you're not cleared for this one.
The Black Spider at Bay: A Claustrophobic Castle - in a piece written in her cover job as a journalist, Angel has some fun remarking on the straitened circumstances of the Windsor Crime Family and their loyalists in their new digs in Jersey.
A Birthright of Distinction - in one of her mature poetic works, Angel McKenna sticks the knife into Chuckie Seven Eggs on the occasion of his farcical Coronation.
A Midnight Feast - on the night of his Coronation, a sleepless Charles Windsor recalls happier times with Sir Jimmy, and makes an ill-fated attempt to cook chips.
Epilogue: Gansevoort, 2009 - Angel meets an ex in what they used to call Hell's Kitchen, learns about advances in frying technology, and imagines a nightmare alternative world where the Windsors were never deposed.
Albian Dreams Book 2: Angel's In America
Parhelion: A Prologue - in a universe much more like our own, two Americas meet, with disastrous consequences for both. But what does any of this have to do with Albia, and Angel?
From the Files of the Republic Intelligencers: Artefact Cluster KO1 - 'Kirkoswald Spheres'
Wednesday, 23 October 2024
As Free As Bears Are
Poster for the Newcastle Ewan Brown Anarchist Book Fair by the Fair's 'in-house artist', which partly inspired this poem |
Monday, 21 October 2024
I was a Teenage Eschatologist
Sunday, 6 October 2024
Festive Fayre
What do you reckon, this year's Christmas card? |
Sunday, 8 September 2024
INSIDELEFT Interview!
YouTuber Steven Fearon interviewed me on his channel, INSIDELEFT, about my recent poem Tell Me, Physician, and much more besides. I really enjoyed having this opportunity to explain what was going through my mind in writing that poem, what inspires me creatively, what I've learned and why I think it all matters (and even slag off that racist disappointment Caitlin R Kiernan a little bit). Give it a watch, and maybe even like, comment and subscribe!